from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
THIS IS IT!!!!!! THE TIME IS NOW!!!!!
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6/28/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every other Sunday
GOLF MATCH AT THE SITE FIGHT CORRAL
SUSPENDA STOOPS TO CONQUER
WITH DUNCLE'S HELP OF COURSE!!!
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
11/16/97
11/23/97
11/30/97
1/04/98
1/11/98
1/18/98
1/25/98
2/1/98
2/8/98
2/15/98
2/22/98
3/1/98
3/8/98
3/15/98
3/22/98
3/29/98
4/19/98
5/3/98
5/17/98
5/31/98
6/14/98
Duncle and I walked toward Dman and DNick, who were both nattily attired
in their best Sunday going to a Miniature Golf course matching plaid outfits,
as they waited for us at the entrance gate to Dman's private Miniature Golf course.
Dman stood with his feet slightly apart, his left arm crocked to his hip,
his right hand holding his gold putter which threw off a glint
as the clouds parted and the sun broke through, bright and hot.
The air wuz thick, heavy and humid as the clock
on the top of DHome Dome Building struck 12 times.
DNick stood next to him calculating our estimated time of arrival,
scientifically and accurately as always by counting on the fingers of one hand,
looking resolute and holding his silver putter in the other hand.
The sun wuz now directly overhead,
bright and as hot as a 60 watt power saver bulb.
[I looked up, squinting....It wuz really a 60 watt power saver bulb!]
Beads of perspiration began to form under my moustache.
As if on cue a soft singing voice sounding like Tex Ritter twanged in
"Do not forsake me, Oh my darlin'....", cutting through the tense silence.
Dust blew up from the dry, dirt path with each step Duncle and I took.
This wuz definitely HIGH NOON!!...
CUT!!!!
[Dramatic buildup,huh?...
trouble is I think this scenario is a deja-vu all over again movie happening.]
On the walk over I told Duncle not to worry,
Beanie Baby, before running off to a Beanie Baby collector's show
where he would announce his retirement and increase his worth 100 times,
gave me the lowdown on the layout and theme of Dman's Miniature Golf Course.
He told me that the key to the success of any course is the complexity of it's theme -
for example, The Titanic Miniature Golf Cruise Course's theme
is racing the boat to sink your putts faster than the boat sinks -
or the KMart Miniature Golf Mall Course's theme
of shopping or putting til you drop.
When DHome Dome Building wuz built the Site Fights were growing rapidly,
Dman had the course designed and built, patterned after The Site Fights.
Each hole is a representation of a different part of the Fights,
so with our combined knowhow, Duncle's and Duncle's, regarding Who's Dman,
how Dman thinks and what sort of traps he would devise in this course,
we should breeze through the match and emerge victorious.
[I actually started to believe Beanie Baby when he told me this.]
Dman and DNick greeted us and I handed Dman the coveted "Lucky You!" card.
He placed the card in a slot in the turnstile in front of the Entrance gate.
Lights began flashing, a symphonic, cacaphony of kazoo music began
playing the theme music from "Rocky" and the gates opened.
We entered the Club House and before beginning we were led to the
'Training Center' to watch a 1 hour inspirational video about Dman.
[I asked Duncle if he wanted to stay to see it again to see if ended differently next time.]
We learned all about Links to HTML Editors, Graphics & Animation programs.
I stuffed my pockets with spirit sticks, cheers, etc.
and I ended up covered with fairy dust from head to toe.
We each purchased one of the 'Site Fightelist' golf balls,
personally autographed by Dman
and matching Site Fights tee shirts to wear while we played.
Loaded up with all these goodies in my A&P baggy pants,
my SuspendA groaned from the added weight
and my pants went up and down like a Slinky or yo-yo,
spewing fairy dust allover with every step I took.
[Duncle wuz sweating now and looking worried....Must be the heat.]
Just before leaving the Club House Dman said to me,
"SuspendA, being the holder of our gold "Lucky You!" card
you are entitled to VIP treatment today and thereFORE!!!
we have assigned you our top caddy, DC!"
On cue DC stepped out from behind the counter
where he had been hidden from view,
doffed his golf hat, smiled and walked over to shake my hand.
AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
A wave of my 'Psychominifightosis' malady
came over me and I began shaking,
rattling and spilling all the goodies in my baggy pants.
Duncle helped me reload my pants and I calmed down.
We all strolled through the doors of the Club House towards our First Tee.
[This wuz good because I wuz very thirsty from all the popcorn I ate
while I wuz watching the inspirational video].
Outside,I had to squint a little from the glaring brightness of the 60 watt bulb.
I noticed that the stands and gallery were filled with spectators
who came, anticipating a great MIniature Golf Match.
A box full of DPresident's waved and cheered as we passed by.
The box wuz next to Nick's old Cheering section box
[It's amazing... they haven't aged a day since they went into retirement].
Before we officially began,Dman turned to the crowd and welcomed everyone.
He stood in front of the curtains hiding the first hole and said,
"DNick and I have been looknig forward to this mathc with great
anticipation.
The Site Fights is a fnu place and we hope all fo you will have fnu today!
Let the gmaes begin!!!
[I've said it before but I'm still amazed that he does talk the way he types.]
As he reached for the drawstring to open the curtain
the sky darkened ominously and then a bolt of lightning flashed and crackled above us.
DDome began spewing what seemed like golfball sized hailstones....
actually, they were golfballs!
The golfball retrieval storage system sprang a leak and wuz pouring out its contents.
The stands emptied quickly as everyone ran for cover in the Club House
to wait for the storm to pass over.
AFTER A SHORT HAILSTORM DELAY
We have received a number of correct answers to the current Conundrum
and will be sending out Golden SuspendA's
and RAM CACHE!!! prizes to the winners.
Go over and try your luck with the "Whacky Wordies!
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
DSuspendA will have a new "Wacky Wordie for you next time.
Hints are available by request!!!
As a special BONUS for anyone solving the Conundrums
DSuspendA will award the winners
$100.00 RAM CACHE
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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