from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
"FORE...I'm jolly happy fellow!!!"
Be sure to read the rest of
The Press Box! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
5/3/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every other Sunday
I CAN'T LOOK A GIFT E-MAIL IN THE MOUTH
SEE END OF COLUMN FOR BIG NEWS!!!!
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
11/16/97
11/23/97
11/30/97
1/04/98
1/11/98
1/18/98
1/25/98
2/1/98
2/8/98
2/15/98
2/22/98
3/1/98
3/8/98
3/15/98
3/22/98
3/29/98
4/19/98
There are things in life that we dream of achieving or obtaining
but think we'll never get - somewhat like
"Dreaming the Impossible Dream",
a lottery bonanza or a career windfall.
(I've been staying home every weekend, dressed in my best Red SuspendA
waiting for the Prize Patrol or Ed McMann to ring my doorbell and
give me the Million dollars that they are always telling me I won -
unfortunately it always happens to somebody else.
Not this time though!)
Since my early days here at The Site Fights
I must confess, like Jimmy Carter, I have lusted....YES...
I have lusted for an invitation to play around of Miniature Golf on the
Private course located just off Dman's office in the Executive Branch
of the newly redesigned 'DHome Dome Building'.
(Speaking of Branches, if you want to find my new office,
it's located on an upper branch next to the Robin Redbreast's nest.
Never let it be said, "DSuspendA won't go out on a limb for his job!
More about the Robin's and fate later...")
Speaking of Miniature Golf brings to mind the day last year when
I unboxed a dusty box I discovered in my first office.....
I had carefully placed a stack of E-Mail begging messages on my desk
and turned to this mysterious carton. I couldn't let my curiosity wait
one more minute without seeing just what it held, and why it wuz here.
I picked it up from the floor and placed it on the desk,
causing a dust swirl, much like a Saharan sandstorm.
My hair, face, SuspendA and boxer shorts were now a matched
designer ensemble coordinated monochrome color - "Dusty Greystone".
(Hey, wuzn't that Tarzan's name? Maybe I could audition for a remake!)
A note on a yellowing, yellow post-it memo said
"Please re-pack and return to DescendA" - signed Dman"
Now it wuz becoming clear how and why it landed in my office.
DESCENDA and DSUSPENDA are close enough for anyone to easily
mistake one for the other - and Dman does make a lot of typos in memos.
My reporter's nose for news said "Go ahead - open it already!!!"
So I did!
I removed the top layer of plastic bubble wrap,
losing myself for a moment - popping and snapping the bubbles
in a rhythmic cadence that sounded a lot like John Philip Sousa's
"Stars and Stripes Forever" March played by the Boston Pops Orchestra.
(GlendA has often told me that I possess an unusual musical talent).
Pulling myself back to the task at hand, I picked up an envelope
that wuz one layer down in the carton, opened it and read the following:
I wuz confused, (which is not unusual) - I know that Dman does have a
Miniature Golf Course in his office - so what wuz the miscommunication?
Then I peeled away the next layer and the mystery wuz cleared up!
There in the box wuz a perfect Miniature Golf Course, down to the last detail.
Unfortunately, it only covered an area 14" by 24".
It wuz truly
a Miniature.
I kept looking at it with wonder and daydreaming about the round
I wuz going to play if and when I wuz invited upstairs.....
The gong sounding the end of the round brought me back from my
reverie. I closed the cover of the carton and put it on a shelf.
One more of the mysteries of my office cleared up -
I snapped out of this daydream when I wuz struck on the head by an envelope
which came shooting out of the Interoffice Pnuematic Tube system.
(In my ring days when I wuz struck on the head my daydreams began.)
Neatly typed in big gold letters, the front of the envelope read -
TO: DRobin's Family
Branch Post Office
DHome Dome Building
%The Site Fights, USA
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
YOUR ENTRY IS A
GUARANTEED WINNER IN
DMAN'S DC SWEEPSTAKE GIVEAWAY.
Your Prize is enclosed.
I hurried over to my neighbors, the Robin's, to deliver the envelope
and Congratulate them on their good fortune
but when I arrived the nest wuz empty.
There wuz a small sign
tacked to a small post, reading
"Relocated. Flew the Coop!
No forwarding address!!!"
(I racked my brain trying to think if I offended them in any way
causing them to fly away without telling me they were leaving our cosy little branch.)
Back in my office I stared at the envelope
wondering what great fortune the Robin's had missed out on by their departure?
My curiosity to open the envelope grew to the point of non-resistance.
Fact: The Robin's were gone!
Fact: No forwarding address!
Very convincing argument:
Maybe there's some clue
as to their whereabouts inside the envelope.
I tore open the envelope and it contained.......
a Gold engraved card entitling the bearer to a
Complimentary Round of Miniature Golf at Dman's Private Course.
AT LAST!!!!
Holding the Gold Card I felt like Charlie in
Raold Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
(Willy Wonka in the movies)
Here in my hand.....The ticket to my dream!!!!
Life is Sweet!! Yes, Virginia, there is a Tooth Fairy!!
A plan began filling my head.
I would take a week off to practice my golf game,
have GlendA take me shopping for a pair of green plaid pants and a pom-pom hat,
bone up on Dman' background - his likes, dislikes, how he got started, etc.
EXTRA!!! EXTRA!!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
STARTING THIS WEEK
SUSPENDA'D SENTENCES WILL APPEAR EVERY OTHER WEEK
AND DUNCLE'S "WHO'S DMAN"
http://207.153.253.170/buttons/whosdman/
WILL APPEAR THE OTHER EVERY OTHER WEEK
Here's your chance to find out everything there is to know
about Dman
Dman who holds all this together
DBrains behind DFights!!!DGlue that holds it together!!
(Hey, ya never know if he reads this stuff. Gotta say nice things about him.
Who knows whether I'll bump into him in 2 weeks when I'm on the course.
I might get some inside tips on how to play some of the holes.)
IN TWO WEEKS
This week there's a brand New Conundrum for you to solve!
We have received a number of correct answers to the current Conundrum
(list of them is posted on new Conundrum page)
and will be sending out Golden SuspendA's
and RAM CACHE!!! prizes to the winners.
Go over and try your luck with the "Whacky Wordies!
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
DSuspendA has a new "Wacky Wordie for you this week.
Hints are available by request!!!
As a special BONUS for anyone solving the Conundrums
DSuspendA will award the winners
$100.00 RAM CACHE
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
Copyright 1996-2008
Child Privacy Policy |
TERMS OF USE
"Making the Web a Better Place to Be"
