from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
BEWARE D'IDES OF MARCH!!!
Be sure to read the rest of
The Press Box! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
3/17/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
MARCH MADNESS ARRIVES
AND STADIUM GOES UP IN SMOKE!!
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
11/16/97
11/23/97
11/30/97
1/04/98
1/11/98
1/18/98
1/25/98
2/1/98
2/8/98
2/15/98
2/22/98
3/1/98
3/8/98
(Apologies for the lateness of this report but March Madness
wuz responsible for all the mixups and delays. Explanation below.")
On my way into the office on Sunday, March 15th (The Ides of March),
I stopped at a quaint little penny antique fortune telling scale
located in front of an empty, boarded up Five and Ten cent store.
Inside a glassed in booth a Gypsy Fortune Teller sat in the dark, staring blankly out.
I put in a penny, stepped on the scale which groaned and began to whirr.
The Gypsy's eyes lit up and she moved her arms and looked at me from head to toe.
A few seconds later a rectanglur piece of cardboard came out of a slot
located in the front of the scale. It had the following message on it.
"Oh, Boy!!! I knew today, March 15th wuz going to be one of my worst days
as a Fortune telling weight scale - and I wuz right!!!
You're weight tells me that your SuspendA is working extra hard these days
trying to hold up the 210 Lbs that you now weigh in at.
I predict that unless you stop filling your face with food
it will turn as Red as that SuspendA you're wearing when your pants burst
and you are embarrassed once again in public.
Much Madness and strange happening will befall you this day and this month.
I, Beldar, the Fortune Telling Scale have spoken."
The whirring stopped and the lights inside the glass enclosure went dark.
What did I expect for a penny? Pearls of wisdom? A million dollars worth of advice?
I shook my head and continued on my way to write this week's story.
I entered the Site Fights Home Dome Building and started up the stairs
to my office and when I reached the second level it hit me!!!!
IT'S GONE!!!! THE STADIUM'S GONE!!!!
Where the Stadium and all the offices, mine included were gone..
Moved - Who knows where??...March Madness??? Ides of March???
I raced back down the steps to the main lobby which I now noticed
had a completely different look to it. It wuz very neat and orderly.
There wuz a directory with all the new and expanded
Site Fights Departments
well marked and easy to locate. I wuz listed under FUN.
This looked easy. All I had to do wuz find FUN somewhere in the Building.
(I've been trying to find FUN in my column every week and it taint easy!!!)
I began my search by going down the main corridor
following an arrow which said straight ahead!
(I didn't know where straight ahead would lead but I followed.)
I passed a party of Bird watchers peering through binoculars at
a group comprised of "Skye's Avenging Angels", "DCap's Soaring Eagles
"The Cherub Champions" and "Phoenix's Warlords" who were conversing
as they hovered in mid air, hungrily eyeing the fish swimming in
the clear water bottle of the Company Drinking water cooler.
I couldn't help overhearing their conversation which went something like this.
...Yep...March Madness is here again. Did you see the way that new guard
dribbled over everybody and finished it off with his hot shot dunk!"
(March Madness, again ...must be talking about one of Dman's
new security guards who has a strange way of dunking his donuts ..
and he slobbers while doing it!!!)
"...and the favotite wuz upset and now won't make it to "The Sweet Sixteen!..."
(This is Madness!!!A Sweet Sixteen Party and I wuzn't even invited!!!)
I asked them if they would stop hovering for a second and help me find
my office in the FUN Section. They said they were having FUN right here...
so maybe the Watercooler wuz the FUN area...This wuz no help to me.
I smiled, thanked them and moved on down the hallway.
(Didn't want to rankle their feathers, you know.)
A little further down the hallway I wuz greeted with a melodic humming
which I recognized immediately as "The Kalamazoo Kazoo Marching Band".
[Please see 3/16/97 "Working Nine to Five..."].
They were in a full rootin' tootin' dress rehearsal
for their annual St. Patrick's Day Parade Marching appearance.
They were practicing their intricate drill precision Marching
to strains of John Phillip KazoozA's "Stars and Site Fights Forever March"
(MARCH MADNESS...again!!! Belda's prediction wuz coming true.)
I got caught up in the fever of the stirring Kazoo music
totally forgetting why I wuz here
and what I had to do
that by the time I remembered it wuz too late
to make Sunday's deadline
much less Monday's.
(So, I confess to becoming a victim to March Madness.
I also understand there's some eggs hidden here in the building.
Gotta watch where I walk.....)
Next week I will resume DKO'S and also a New Conundrum!
Watch for them!!!
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
CONGRATULATIONS are in order to DSuspendA
he has managed to stump you all for the past 4 weeks.
Hints are available by request!!!
As a special BONUS for anyone solving the Conundrums
DSuspendA will award the winners
$100.00 RAM CACHE
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
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and come back often.
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head on over to
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