from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
WORKING NINE TO FIVE
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3/8/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
THE LONGEST DAY CONTINUES
"S'TATUE?"..."WHO WERE YOU EXPECTING.....RODIN?"
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
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5/25/97
6/1/97
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6/22/97
6/29/97
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8/3/97
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8/31/97
9/7/97
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10/12/97
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10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
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1/04/98
1/11/98
1/18/98
1/25/98
2/1/98
2/8/98
2/15/98
2/22/98
3/1/98
(Ancient twentieth century old webmaster adage:
"If the fat lady is a listener this thing may never end!")
When I got back to my office following my Olympic excursion
my desk once more wuz piled high with E-Mail, (dead and otherwise),
breezy intra-office Pneumatic memos and an interesting looking package
from Batten Down DHatches & Pray, the Site Fight's Advertising Agency.
I eagerly tore off the Recycled Domain plain wrapping paper
and what to my wondering eyes should appear
but miniature SuspendAs and 12 tiny porcelain DC's.
(Hey that sounds like a line from a Christmas thing I wrote once!)
The miniature SuspendAs were the prototypes of the newly completed
"Faux Porcelain-Like Site Fight Figurines" that have been in production
since last April and are soon to be released here at the Fights.
There wuz a letter telling me how they anticipate huge sales for
The Porcelain Original Reproduction Replica of my Golden SuspendA Award.
They are aiming for an April 1st date for mass release of the figurine.
It goes on to say how the date wuz perfect for an item pertaining to someone like me.
(I can't figure the significance - but I guess they know what they're doing.)
Reading the letter got my mind racing back in time to last April.
I remember that day when I unraveled one of my first momentous scoops.
Duty called and I closed the door of my old office behind me,
raced down the hallway, out the backdoor, and down the path
that led to the Port-A-San's that were out in back of DHome Dome Building.
(The architects who designed the building sold Dman on a unique concept
a busy office building, 3 stories high, thirty five rooms - or arenas,
if you will - and an indoor miniature golf course with a pond.
Unfortunately someone forgot to design any restrooms in the plan.)
I found an open stall, deposited a quarter in the slot and went in.
As I walked over to the sink I heard a strange 'Flap Flap' Flapping sound.
I stopped and the sound stopped. I took a step and it started again.
I stopped and the sound stopped. I took a step and it started again.
It didn't take me long to figure that there wuz a connection here somewhere.
I looked down and saw the culprit - an oversized piece of paper under my foot.
I lifted my foot and discovered it wuz stuck to the sole of the shoe.
Carefully, I removed it from a small wad of 'Roo poop,
probably left over from "Grammy's Award Show".
[Please see 3/1/97 "SUSPENDA KIDS' GRAMMY'S MUSIC AWARDS"].
I turned it over and jumped up and down for joy at my marvelous find.
(It's amazing to me how lucky I've been since starting this job!)
One of those Madison Avenue Ad types who were playing a round
of Miniature Golf upstairs with Dman in his office, presenting
possible ad tie-in campaigns with the Site Fights, must have dropped it.
So here it is, Folks...another SuspendA EXCLUSIVE!!!!!
You heard and saw it here first.
Straight from the Roo's mouth....errr
Straight from the Roo's behi.......errrr...
Straight from the very sole of your humble servant!!!
A SCOOP FROM THE POOP!
Figurines © Copyright 1997 ETT, Inc. Licensee Cuties Corporation
Looking at this ad sample brought back the memories of my time
as a ContendA in the Site Fights competition. I remember standing
in the middle of the ring in the Warzone, immobile as a statue while
Lady Char (One of our fair Noble Champions) of Knights of the Ring
plastered me - put me on a pedastal - painted me into a corner
- placed me lying down in a prone position, eyes closed, smiling
while the referee counted to ten as I became stiff as a board.
The buzzer sounded, signalling the end of the two minute break
so I folded the ad thinking that I'd read the rest of it another time.
I flushed with success at my continued good fortune in finding story content
and as I went out the Port-A-San door a Fat lady waiting to use the stall
began singing in dulcit tones "The Halleluya Chorus.
(I suppose the old twentieth century webmaster adage has some validity after all.)
Next week I will resume DKO'S and also a New Conundrum!
Watch for them!!!
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
CONGRATULATIONS are in order to DSuspendA
he has managed to stump you all for the past 4 weeks.
Hints are available by request!!!
As a special BONUS for anyone solving the Conundrums
DSuspendA will award the winners
$100.00 RAM CACHE
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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