from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
LATE BREAKING STORY FROM WAKAYAMA
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2/15/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
SUPER "G" HERO RETURNS TO SLOPES
SUSPENDA SAYS "SAKI TO ME" ONCE TOO OFTEN
SWELLED HEAD REQUIRES ICE RINK SIZED ICE BAG!!!
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2/8/97
Wakayama, Japan - February 15,1998
This reporter has learned from a reliable source
that one the most famous Japanese heroes is once more
coming out of retirement as he has done several times before
and his fans are wild with anticipation of his appearance.
[Apologies to my loyal readers for the lateness of this report
but it is difficult to think and much less type when
your head feels like the size of the Olympic Ice Hockey Arena.
There's a story behind all this which I will attempt to explain shortly but first...]
A few odds and ends.
Valentines Day has come and gone but not without a few love notes
received by yours truly which surprised me stuck here in Wakayama.
THanks to Lady Char and a Lip Smacking card from Timmi (aka as "The Momma").
Here's the one I got from GlendA and the Kids -
Your Suspenda is Red...
Your eyes black and blue.
You're soft in the head...
But we still all Luv you!!!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
The SPAM Headline of the day arrived in my E-Mail Box here at the hotel
"2 Year Old Magazine Published by 9 Year old Industry Leader Goes MLM!"
(Industry leaders are getting younger every day it seems!)
I'll have to speed this up because I'm due to cover
an exciting heavyweight competition at the local arena in a few minutes.
"SUMO BOWLING". The games go something like this:
Pins are set up and the Sumo ContendA's pick up a ball
and do an "Okuri dashi" or backwards "bum's rush" towards the pins.
The more the floor vibrates as they make their short run -
the more pins and spectators are upended. The judges rate them based
on size of vibration, number of toppled pins and spectators and artistic presentation.
(Hey!...What do you expect? This is not Nagano, you know!)
Quickly back to my exclusive news breaker...
After checking into my hotel room here in Wakayama, Japan
following my Airport fiasco at the Customs Inspection.
[Please see 2/8/97 "Olympic Games Open...."].
(The room by the way is so small that I have to go outside to change my mind).
I figured I would go down to the local Sushi bar hoping to
bump into some of the other reportAs covering the Olympic Events.
As I walked in I heard someone shouting "LED!!...LED!!...
Over here, LED!!"
(Uh OH! Vuja DE! The airport all over again?).
I turned and there wuz my old boxing friend Tama Gotchi seated at a low table.
I took off my shoes and sat down to join him.
We reminisced for a while and he asked me what I wuz doing over here.
I told him the reason and related the embarassment of the airport incident.
It seems he's independently wealthy, having signed a lucrative licensing
arrangement for the use of his name by some company producing a children's toy
which has become a very hot item around the world.
As we talked we drank some Saki out of little china cups.
(It wuz very smooth going down and we probably had some more and some more).
He told me he had an in at Sony and could get me an interview with the BIG "G".
I said, "THE BIG "G"?...He said "Yup, The BIG "G"
It seems everybody thought he had entered the arena for the last time a few years ago...
but Tama had it on good authority that his fans and cult followers
just won't let the poor guy die. They want more and more of him.
It seems he comes back periodically to save the country,
not only in his superhero style but financially as well.
"He is one hell of a box office attraction!...something like "Rambo", Tama said.
By this time I wuz feeling no pain and had drunk myself under the table
which wuz not easy because it wuz so low to the floor that I wuz there already.
I think I remember something about an interview being setup for me with
yup!! You guessed it.
GODZILLA!!! THE BIG G...
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