from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
CHAT ROOM CHAMP IS
Computer Chat Room?...Only PERSON there?
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2/2/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
ONLY PERSON THERE!
BECOMES CHAT ROOM CHUMP!!!
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
11/16/97
11/23/97
11/30/97
1/04/97
1/11/97
1/18/97
1/25/97
Once again the headline up above says it all folks!!!
I'll get to this latest embareassment shortly
but first a loose thought from my mesencephalon.
(That's the midbrain for you nondocs out there).
Hopefully, since January is now a tornoff page in the calendar
and the short term memory of your mesencephalon has already
forgotten my embarrassing, mistaken Super Bowl scoop of last week -
[Please see 1/25/97 "SuspendA's Superbowl Scoop...."].
so we can look ahead to a February filled with
Groundhog Day, Valentines Day, Presidents Day
and
continued fun here at the Site Fights.
Speaking of Groundhog Day and last month's
nostalgia trip to The Paduka Palooka Rest Home
reminded me of Petey "The Groundhog" Pokesatunney,
who wuz once a promising featherweight boxer
and now is only a shadow of his former self.
It seems that the day of his last fight, thirty years ago
fell on the same day as Groundhog day.
When he awoke that morning, the sun shining brightly in his room-
he saw his shadow and immediately began shadow boxing it.
Every move he made - his shadow made, every feint, every jab,
until Petey wound up with his right hand and threw a haymaker
which landed solidly on his chin, knocking him out for the count.
He wuz so devastated at losing to his shadow
that he went into hibernation for six more weeks,
forfeiting not only the fight that night,
but causing him to be so afraid of his own shadow
that he never set foot in the ring again.
It wuz sad seeing him out on the lawn at the rest home
still trying desperately to defeat his own shadow.
Let me tell you about DSupendA's latest embareassing foray.
For the past few months I have been promising to visit DPapa's Chat Room
and shoot the breeze with other ContendAs and family members.
As you might already have gathered I am a relative "Newbie"
when it comes to fancy things like Chat Rooms, E-Mail and such.
(A trip to my alter ego site
Empty Trash Talk and you'll see why)
So always interested in experienceing something new
I connected D'1931 Classic Underwood to D'Modem Phone,
D'Modem phone connected to D'PC clone
D'PC clone connected to D'Fax phone
D'Fax phone connected to my Monochrome...
Now where's D'URL for D'Chat....
(A familiar melody began to run through my mesencephalon
OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!! I luv that word.)
After a few puffs of smoke, some gurgling and whoozing
I entered the Chat Room and a message told me
WELCOME TO THE COMPUTER CHAT ROOM!
It is Saturday Chat and you are the only person here.
(This struck me as strange since there wuz a rapid dialogue
typing itself on my 24 bit high resolution Monochrome monitor).
HAL: The thing that bugs me the most is when he begins typing
right after he's eaten a Sloppy Joe hero sandwich. My keys are
all sticky and gooey and I keep making typos.
MAC2: I can empathize. My guy pounds the keyboard so hard that
everything I type is all twisted out of context.
HAL: Another thing "Old Sticky fingers" doesn't understand
is that I'm a cleanliness freak and I can't function in the messy
desktop arrangement that he leaves me in everyday.
MAC2: I can empathize. My guy pounds the keyboard so hard that
everything I type is all twisted out of context.
HAL: Since he entered into this "Site Fight" thing I don't have a minute to myself.
Sending out 100 or so vote begging E-Mails every day taps my energy
to the point that I just want to crash to get even with him.
HAL: They just don't understand how sensitive we are. My guy mumbles to himself
about how slow I am compared to the speed some of his friends are getting.
My memory is not enough for all the new programs he wants me to learn.
HAL: I know how you feel. Maybe we should pull a shut down
and see the rest of the gang at the Computer Convention
next month in Honolulu. What do you think?
HAL: I don't know! I'm a little short of cache at the moment.
I'm also afraid he might dump me for something newer and faster.
Begins typing with sticky fingers? Low memory?
Attend Computer Convention? Short of Cache?
AAARRGGHHHH!!!!
My mesencephalon kicked in igniting the dim 20 watt energy saver idea bulb in my head!
Somehow I inadvertantly logged into a real COMPUTER CHAT ROOM!!!!
I wuz eavesdropping on a conversation between 2 computers!
Are we humans becoming obsolete and they don't need us any more to communicate?
I know people say I have artificial intelligence but this is scary folks!!!
Go pay the Chat Room a visit of your own -
You might meet the nicest people(?).
"Ladies and Gentleman...
and ContendAs of All Ages...
D'Site Fights is Proud to Present for your Surfing Pleasure
D'New Installment of DKO's...
Little Red SuspendA goes thru woods to
Grandma's and Meg's
(Give me a pat on DBack and go take a look at some sites
who have requested DSuspendA to pay them a visit).
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
CONGRATULATIONS are in order to DSuspendA
he has managed to stump you all for the past 2 weeks.
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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