from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
SUSPENDA'S SUPERBOWL SCOOP!!
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PACKERS DEFEAT BRONCOS!!!
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The headline up above says it all folks!!!
DSuspendA's bent and twisted nose for news has done it again -
Scooped the entire nation...First with the headline of the day.
Amazed? - Impressed? - Asking yourself "How does he do it?"
(I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone else! OK?)
Last week, if you remember, I mentioned a discounted deluxe vacation at
"The Paduka Palooka Rest Home for Retired Pugilists".
[Please see 1/11/97 "I'll Never Forget Whatsisname...."].
To celebrate my 1st anniversary as a roving ReportA
I booked a weekend stay there, packed my gym bag and went.
After check-in, looking out the window of my room I saw punch drunk fighters,
ex-challengers and satellite ring boxers being knocked down by their shadows -
straining their cauliflowered ears in an effort to hear
the incessantly droning music from their last bouts just one more time -
their bobbing and weaving movements coming to a dead stop
while the music wuz being loaded in their headsets -
flocks of birds flying around their heads in continuous loops -
a cute little round guy who resembled DC, dressed to the nines in green plaid,
swinging a golf club sauntered by
asking if he could play through -
as a whole it triggered unforgetable memories of my stay here last year
after my loss in the Warzone to Lady Char, the lovely southern belle.
Everything about that fateful day
vividly rushed back into my uncluttered mind.
I remembered thinking then "that things are really looking up for me now"
(They were looking up when I was flat on my back for the count also).
First my cousin from my mother's side of the family, The Braces,
a bigtime Hollywood producer, who was trained by Ed Wood
approached me about doing a picture for him.
I almost made it into the movies many years ago
when I was a big strapping, handsome six footer with blonde hair down to my hips.
For some reason they told me that all the Munchkin roles
had been filled in this Wizard film they were casting
(Cest La vie to my movie career).
Anyways, this cousin had this brilliant, can't miss idea
that the time wuz ripe to begin making Silent Films again.
(He heard some guy say it was Deja vu, all over again.)
He wanted me to star in the film which wuz titled "TRAMPO - The Quest Begins"
He wuz looking for backers, telling them that he'wants to put pianos in Multiplex theaters.
He wuz scouting the country for musicians whose artistic talents are in Player Pianoing.
He saw me in one of my rounds and said I would be perfect for the part.
(Oh! I'm sorry I digress from the Superbowl Story you're here to hear!)
I brought myself back to the present, changed to my dinner SuspendA
and went down to the lobby to see what the evenings entertainment wuz.
I wuz startled to learn that good luck had placed me once again
in the right spot at the right time as I read the sign -
"Tonite December 18th, 1998
Exclusive Telecast of
SUPERBOWL XXXII
PACKERS VERSUS BRONCOS!!!
I could hardly contain myself. Here I wuz about to see an Exclusive Telecast
of the event the whole country wouldn't see til next week!
I'd have a poop of a scoop 1 whole week ahead of all the other Sports ReportAs.
EXCLUSIVE TO THE SITE FIGHTS -
GREENBAY CLOSES OUT GAME WITH FINAL 30 POINTS
TO DEFEAT BRONCOS, WHOSE MECHANICS WERE JUST A LITTLE SHORT
The Greenbay Meatpacker five Bowling team, who stayed close to
the valiant team of Bronco auto mechanics until the tenth frame
last night at Barney's Bowlerama, in the 32nd Annual SUPERBOWL,
needed a dramatic finish and wuz up to the task.
A huge hush fell over the Bowling alley as Stu "Stumpy" Stumpowitz,
a chicken plucker by day and 300 pound anchor of the Packers
stepped to the line for his final chance to make up the team's 29 pin deficit.
The alley shook as he stomped toward the pins to release his pink and puce
bowling ball.
In what seemed like super-slo-mo the ball rolled end over end - pink over puce-
on it's curving course towards the pins - right into the pocket -BLAMMM!!!
STRIKE! Twice more - end over end - pink over puce - BLAMMM!!!
STRIKE! and again STRIKE!!!
The alleys erupted in pandemonium from the Meatballheaded Packer Fans!!!
Chicken feathers flying - meatball paddys tossed up in celebration -
their beloved Packers were the CHAMPEENS OF SUPERBOWL XXXII!!!
DContendA who wears one Red SuspendA
Riddles - the answers to which involve a play on words, a pun or anything that puzzles.
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for this week's puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
CONGRATULATIONS are in order for 3 clever winners
who discovered they were UP to last week's task.
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
bringing the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
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head on over to
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We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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