from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
HEEEEEEEEZE BAAAAAAAACK STEP 1. Gently take the ribbon coming from spool A in your left hand and
Be sure to read the rest of
The Press Box! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
1/04/98 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
FOR ANOTHER (go)ROUND!!!!
AFTER GOING AROUND WITH AL
(Without Who There'd Be No Round Table)!
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
11/09/97
11/16/97
11/23/97
11/30/97
Yes, Virginia... there is a SuspendA, and he's back in his office
ready to begin his second year here at The Site Fights.
Happy New Year to all of DFamily and all DContendA's old and new.
Here's hoping that 1998 is a great year of fun and success for one and all.
As I sit here, fingers quickly hunting and pecking away
on my 1931 Classic Underwood with its new ribbon (Thanks to Dman),
[Please see
11/30/97 "SuspendA gets on the ball..."]
installed with the help of my new friend Al Dente, the head honcho of
"Al's 1931 Classic Underwood Ribbon Replacement School for All-Thumbs Dummies"
(More about Al and my school daze a little later),
I have a lot of news to report and loose ends to tie up.
First, you will find a new separate set of pages entitled
"DKOS*"
*"Dis isA Knock Out Site"
which will contain Site Reviews of up and coming ContendA's
who have requested DSuspendA to pay them a visit
(These will begin next week, time permitting, so get your requests in early.).
Second, I will from time to time try (again) to trip you up
with a Conundrum(?) or two with bigger and better prizes
(Depending on how much Dman is willing to spring for).
[Please see
8/17/97 "WHY IS UPS DOWN? That Conundrum is DQuestion!!!"]
So be on the lookout for them when they appear.
Third, and by no means least, I will at long last,
reveal my plans for a complete overhaul of The Site Fights,
as promised,
(many times it seems),
barring any new unforseen embarrassing disasters.
This promises to be the most anticipated event of the New Year.
Don't be left out - this is the place to read about it first!!!
(I hope)
DSuspendA Graduates At The Head of His Class!!!
[Of course, I wuz the only one in my class]
Back in the beginning of December, I arrived at
"Al's 1931 Classic Underwood Ribbon Replacement School for All-Thumbs Dummies"
after a 4 hour ride on the Toonerville Trolley,
a transfer to the Ferry for the 2 hour Cross River crossing,
the overnight stay at The Bates Motel
and the 2 hour forced march up the down path to the rusted,
iron gate, overgrown with Ivy which wuz the entrance to the School.
I wuz greeted at the gate by Al, himself, who wuz
the official greeter/bell boy/concierge/headmaster/teacher/chief cook & bottle washer.
(It turned out he wuz everything as well as the only person here at the school)
After getting settled in my room,
I joined Al in the large, empty, dusty dining hall for
a welcoming dinner of Green Eggs and Spam, his specialty.
(It wuz not only his specialty...it wuz all he knew how to make)
As we ate he wuz eager to chat and hear the latest news happenings outside his school.
He asked how President Hoover wuz doing since he took office?
Had I seen any of the new Busby Berkley, Charlie Chaplin or Greta Garbo movies?
Heard any good radio shows, lately?
It seems the last time Al spoke to anyone
or had contact of any kind with another living person wuz two years ago
when a young up and coming Advertising copy writer came for instruction.
As he left with his diploma in hand, his parting words were,
"Al, a 1931 Classic Typewriter Repairman's job is probably the loneliest job in the world.
Someday I'm going to remember this experience and make you famous.
Al showed me a gallery of famous people who's pictures
and glowing praise for his patience in teaching them the complex
"Quadruple Bend and Twist Ribbon Changing Maneuver"
that Al had developed one afternoon when he had a hot and cold flash of inventive genius.
One of them, a faded group shot of young people sitting in class as Al lectured
wuz inscribed
We can never thank you enough for teaching us your ribbon changing method.
We meet regularly for lunch at "The Algonquin" at our "Round Table"
toasting you.
There would be no Round Table Meetings or (type)writing careers without you.
Signed - DOTTY S., GEORGIE K., BOBBY(The kidder) BENCHLEY,
ALEX WOOLIE and the QWERTY gang.
(I wonder what would have happened to these people if Al had not been around?)
The next few weeks were crammed with charts, manuals, rapid fire drills,
excercises in opening and closing the typewriter and a wrist strengthening regimen
lasting til all hours of the night, leaving me exhausted and limp from fatigue.
(This wuz harder than all the training I did when I wuz a ContendA).
The diagrams below show you the complexity of this seemingly simple chore.
STEP 2. wind it under roller #1, over #2, under #3 etc. etc.
STEP 3. until, much like a connect the dots puzzle you reach spool B.
STEP 4. Take both hands and swing 'em all around..
Do the Hokey Pokey -That's what it's all about!
STEP 5. The completed maneuver should look like the Diagram below.
(I guess a Connect the Dots Puzzle is not a frivolous divertisement after all.)
of 3 weeks instead of the prescribed 4 weeks, I graduated with honors,
sharing a last Gala Celebration meal of Al's Specialty
(I wuz beginning to look as Green as Al's Green Eggs and Spam)
I bid him a fond farewell and returned home for the Holidays,
infinitely richer for this delightful experience.
If you're ever in his neighborhood stop in, chat and enjoy some Green Eggs and Spam.
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
and DMaestro's "The Knockout" and "The Quest"
brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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