from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
"Hey, look at what I invented!
Be sure to read the rest of
The Press Box! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
11/09/97 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
All you do is flip this switch and TA-DA!...
The lightbulb lights up!"
"Great invention!...
But what's a lightbulb?"
[PART TWO OF ?????]
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
10/26/97
11/02/97
.....My fingers began their descent, down towards the keyboard
of my '1931 Classic Underwood' typewriter, on a path that wuz
becoming familiar and routine since I traded my boxing gloves
for my newly acquired ReportA's typing gloves.
(Hey!! If there are golf gloves, batting gloves, bowling gloves, etc.,
why not typing gloves?)
A hare's breath short of the keys my brain threw up a red light...STOP SIGN!!!
My fingers came to a grinding halt(I hate when they grind)
SuspendA'd in mid-air like a pair of dangling particles.
After a moment, which seemed like an eternity, I leaned back in my chair,
pulling my arms back and away from the keys and thought to myself,
" Hey, wait just a darn minute, SuspendA... before you go off half-cocked
with another one of your "BRILLIANT" (HA!!!) ideas,
you'ld better think about about what you're about to do for a minute!"
(Sometimes I do have a sane, rational thought which saves me from
committing another embarrassment...not often, mind you, but sometimes.)
In the flickering light of the torch I began to organize my thoughts
into some sort of logic that Dman and DFamily would expect
when I presented my revolutionary concept for their approval.
Throughout history all great inventions or discoveries,
ie. fire, the wheel, language, the printing press, pizza, etc., etc.
evolved as the result of an individual or group of individuals recognizing
a need and having an enlightened revelation on how to fulfill that need.
For example, let's look at Alexander Graham Bell.
Everyday he would travel for an hour and a half, covering the 3 city blocks
between his office and his mother's house just to say
"Hello, Mom. How are you today?...Good, well, I've got to get back
to the office now...talk to you again tomorrow."
One day, he wuz so busy he couldn't make the trip for two days.
At the crack of dawn on the third day a messenger wuz waiting for him
when he arrived at the office with a note from his mother.
"So...What Happened?..How come you don't come to me anymore?
How come you don't even write anymore?..
Signed, Your Mother (Remember me?)"
INSPIRATIONAL ZAP!!!!
That afternoon he invents the telephone!
(I understand that the first time he called her he heard the following...
"We're sorry we're not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep!)"
I can also picture Thomas Alva Edison sitting in his living room
with his family, Saturday night after Saturday night, bored, staring at them,
the kids whining "If only we had something to do...
Somewhere to go instead of being here playing Parchessi!!!"
INSPIRATIONAL ZAP!!!!
Welcome to Movieland!!!
(I see Edison, sitting ALONE, smiling broadly on the next Saturday night
in the QUIET of his living room - the family out at "The Nickelodeon")
Thinking about the steady growth here at The Site Fights,
in my newly decorated office up here in the Press Box section
of the magnificently redesigned stadium, my resolve regarding
this idea I have on how to make the Fights the out and out leader
of Family Fun Sites on the Web solidified into knowing that I wuz right.
Now is the time to make my plan known to all!!!
But, first....I need to fulfill the task that I am paying Dman for the priveledge of working here.
I must run out and review some of the Sites that have been piling on my desk.
Colonel Rohde's GAZETTE,
http://www.thesitefights.com/wombat/ring1.html
When I landed down under at Wombat's Warriors Ring 1
I discovered the latest issue of Colonel A.C.E. Rohde's GAZETTE
lying on my keyboard, having been thrown there for an enjoyable evenings reading.
Being an ardent Moviegoer the large headline intrigued me.
"YETI'S, ALIENS PROTEST MALL PLAN"
(I guess following their huge financial success of "Return of the Yetis"
in the original Star Wars trilogy the Yetis settled in Swinehurst
and have become a suburban voting power bloc in civic matters.)
It seems Hardy "BINGO" Flutterblast, The Colonel's erstwhile nephew,
son of Dr. Athena Flutterblast, the Colonels sister, has caused a stir
among the aliens and Yetis because he wants to build a mall
right in the area they are living by dispossessing them.
I had to go around a line of picketing Yetis to have a brew with Mozart,
Beethoven, Bach and a Red BandanAd pirate which I liked a lot.
(Maybe GlendA and the kids will get me one for the holidays).
Finally, as time wuz flying by, I read an article about a Worldwide
"Tip Top Tea" shortage and it's repercussions while enjoying a
steaming hot cup of the Colonel's "St. Kilda Blend" hearty robust tea.
(When tea bags are dried out they make great key rings, I think!)
For a hopping good time go spend a thoroughly enjoyable time
in Swinehurst and don't miss reading the Colonel's GAZETTE.
You'll subscribe to home delivery just as I have done.
OUR PLACE(Isabella and Biodog),
www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Sands/4007/index.html
When I began my visit to Isabella and BIODOG's Happy Home
I discovered why they are so HAPPY. Their Cyberspace Homepage
spans an area from North Western Pennsylvania to North Central Idaho.
BIODOG is Isabella's 'CyberHusband' and they are both members of
a Hot Tub Web Ring and seeing as I got soaked when I arrived at Isabella's
place because it wuz raining dogs on cats and I forgot my umbrella,
I joined them in a very crowded "Chatterbox Hot tub" chatting with
her and a whole host of other people, splashing and chatting.
(My SuspendA got caught on the drain plug and pulled it out causing the water
to run out leaving everyone as red as my SuspendA from embarrassment.)
Drying off and continuing my visit I saw a playful animated cat
who recited a prayer for other cats and cat owners. This wuz
followed by a pouting Felix the Cat who wuz pacing back and forth.
(I'm beginning to see him almost as much as seeing DC, my other paranoia).
I found out many other things Isabella, her 2 children, awards, links,
and her time in the Army National Guard.
(I wonder if she ever ran into Colonel A.C.E. Rohde?)
BIODOG, whose alter ego is a high school Biology Sciences Teacher/Coach in Idaho.
(AHAAA!!! That explains the name! Oh boy am I a quick study.
I'm sure some of my couch potato friends are from Idaho.)
He wuz in the Peace Corp in India and shares the same tub
and tub chat friends as Isabella, and invited me to join them - which I did.
(GlendA says that I'm getting a tub of my own and better go on a diet NOW!!!).
There wuz a story about his life as a dog, likes and dislikes, etc.,
an awards page, reality page and some interesting science links.
If, like Columbus, you want to explore a great stopover in Cyberspace
go see Isabella and BIODOG and bring your bathtub toys along with you.
You'll be sure to have "A hot time in the Hot tub!"
The Virtual Fooles Troupe, perform
http://www.powerup.com.au/~rhayes/vfoolshm.htm
Any place with a name like Tee Virtual Fooles Troupe
has got to be my kind of place so I went figuring I might
qualify for for some part time work around the theater.
(The extra income could help pay the cost of my job at the Site Fights).
Back in 1497 I entered the theater after reading about members of the troupe.
I sat down front and the curtains parted for a performance of
"One Fine Day Upon the Rialto" a one act play.
BATTEL, who had just returned from a Sea Voyage
(Maybe he spotted Isabella & BIODOG and Columbus).
bantered with BABBLE, BOTTEL & LADYS LUCRATIVA,
TANGLWYT and DE KUPKAKE, whining over some spilled wine and swapping
Duck stories with DUCKCHESS. All in all an amusing divertisement.
You can fiind out about the Fooles, their productions past and future,
and have yourself a rousing goode tyme by travelling back in tyme.
WATCH FOR PART THREE OF THIS CONTINUING SAGA
NEXT WEEK... MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUT WHAT DSUSPENDA
HAS INSIDE HIS HEAD BESIDE SAWDUST.
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
and DMaestro's "The Knockout" and "The Quest"
brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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