from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
MY 15 SECONDS OF FAME
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10/26/97 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
DISAPPEARED IN A PUFF OF SMOKE
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
8/31/97
9/7/97
9/14/97
9/21/97
10/12/97
10/19/97
One of the things this ex-ContendA, now ReportA,
realizes is that fame is fleeting - like a puff of smoke -
it appears, floats into the atmosphere, quickly dissipating
into the air around it in about 15 seconds leaving only the barest
hint of what it wuz and then is gone into a receding memory.
In order to keep the memory alive it has to be constantly regenerated.
For this humble ReportA, my Public Relations Agent (AKA Image Enhancer),
Alotta Baloney
accomplishes the task by booking me for public appearances
on the banquet circuit as a featured speaker and chat room participant.
Recently she booked me as a panel speaker at the opening dinner of
"The World Class Cigar Boxing Expo"
at the Jacob Javits Center in New York.
I arrived at the large meeting hall bracered for action,
nattily attired, looking very snappy in my red bowtie and red cummerbund,
all perfectly color co-ordinated to match my famous 'Red SuspendA'.
(Using the Geranimals technique of pinning matching clothes together,
GlendA had clipped them to my shirt, pants and jacket the night before).
I went down the aisle towards the speakers platform,
bobbing and weaving, doing a fighter's shadow box shuffle,
left and right jabbing while patting my gloveless hands together,
(Some things in life become natural extensions of ourselves, and like
Pavlov's dogs we perform certain actions without any thought as to why).
nodding and smiling at people in the crowd as I passed by.
For some strange reason the aisles were filled with open boxes of cigars
and humidors brightly decorated with lettering and pictures extolling the virtues
of the different brands like 'Juan Uppman and MACanudo.
(If Alotta got me a celebrity humidor endorsement and my picture
wuz on it, would it be called a "Humordor"?...I wonder!)
There wuz a sign from one National Company for its
Big Butt brand of cigars with a headline reading "Nice Ash!"
My visibility wuz hampered by a huge hanging smoke cloud,
which lingered whispily like a dense fog over the entire room
and an overpowering aroma of stale smoke permeating every corner
as the noisy, mixed crowd of men and women were busy
puffing and blowing odd shaped smoke rings into the air.
(My memory glands were now in high gear and I wuz back in a 'Fight Arena' again).
I quickly sat down at the table, nodding to the other well dressed panelists
and the moderator stepped up to the center of the stage holding a microphone.
I noticed that I wuz the only one on the panel who jumped up and danced around
with my arms clasped above my head when he introduced us to the crowd.
(The laughter in the crowd seemed strange to me but I let it pass).
He continued, "Today's distinguished panel will discuss
'The Decline of the Dutch Master' and whether they feel
'The Five Cent Primo Corona Will Ever Make a Comeback?'
(Now I wuz thoroughly confused, which, by the way, is not unusual...
Alotta never told me what the topic of discussion would be about
and never having had the pleasure of fighting either of them,
how would I be able to speak intelligently on either subject?)
ARGGGHHHHH!!!! NOT AGAIN!
ANOTHER EMBARASSING SITUATION
IN THE MAKING! THE PRICE OF FAME
IS A HEAVY BURDEN TO BEAR!
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Apologies to those who submitted sites while I wuz away.
If you're still in the fights and want me to review you PLEASE RESUBMIT!!
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DSpirit's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
and DMaestro's "The Knockout" and "The Quest"
brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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