from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
LABOR DAY WEEKEND RETURNS
THE LONGEST DAY CONTINUES
Announcing the Winner of the 1st
Be sure to read the rest of
The 3Ring Circuits! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
8/31/97 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
(Along with Ad Nauseum)
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
8/24/97
As summer ends we enter the fall season filled with optimistic
thoughts of continued fun and growth here at the Site Fights.
In a reflective mood this long holiday weekend,
we decided to look back at one of the many 'exclusives'
this reporter has been fortunate enough to uncover for you.
Back in March, DSuspendA sensed that there wuz a potential
for advertising and celebrity endorsements, as yet untapped here,
and proceeded, in my own inimitable style to sniff out this story,
which I recall for you now, so that I can take a much needed break .
ROUND FOUR - AD NAUSEUM!!
(Recalled from 3/30/97)
Still reeling from my embarrassment at losing the envelope
containing the Winner of the "Site Fights Ex-Champions Award",
(See "SuspendA'd Sentences" - 3/23/97)
I raced out of the office down the hall to the Men's room
so I could wash my face and clear my head.
On the way I passed a small group of co-workers,
who were standing around the goldfish bowl watercooler,
wearing hip boots, baiting the hooks of their fly casting fishing rods,
waiting for the break between rounds to end.
They were discussing the Academy Awards show
that I must have missed while I wuz napping last round.
Out of the corner of my cauliflowered left ear I heard
"...I liked the part where they thanked the guy from the
accounting firm who counts the ballots to determine who
the winners are...."
I wondered as I ran by the group,
(I'm sure that many of you wonder, also)
how the votes are tallied here at the fights?
Who counts the votes - people or machines?
Just before I reached the men's room, I spied a door marked
"THE TALLY-HO ROOM".
Curiosity and my reporter's instinct made me stop and peek in.
If anyone came by and asked me why I wuz bent over,
one eye glued to the keyhole, I would explain that my
SuspendA got caught on the doorknob and I wuz trying to
disentangle it and still make it to the men's room
and back to my office before the Warning buzzer sounded.
My eyeball did a 360° keyhole rotation of the room.
There were a number of desks, cluttered with piles
of electronic baskets of ballots from the various voting sites.
Behind them seemed to be a striped zebra wallpaper pattern.
I zoomed my eyeball back to get a better look and discovered
it wuz really a striped shirt worn by a frazzled, grey haired,
retired referee, who I recognized as the one who counted me out
in my famous loss to Lady Char in the Warzone.
He sorted the votes into neat piles, by ContendA.
He picked up a pile, spread it out on the floor,
raised his right hand and began shouting out the count.
Everything immediately fell into place! Now it wuz clear.
The signs with the numbers between rounds that are held up
in Dman's Dome by the beautiful Dynamic duo,
Magnificent Momma, the Bag Headed Lady and
Voluptuous Vicky,the other Bag Headed Lady,
also the numbers next to the ContendA's
in the Warzone and Satellite Finals.
Nothing higher than a 10!
The poor guy never learned how to count any higher!
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 -10! - Out!!!
THE WINNER AND NEW CHAMPEEN!...
The Warning Buzzer sounded - Back to my office time, again!
What happened next is what every journalist hopes for - An Exclusive!
(Remember, you heard and saw it here first, folks!)
I turned quickly to run back and as I did I banged
into 2 Gentlemen wearing POWER SURGE suits and ties.
(Obviously they were not ContendAs, unless Dman
wuz instituting a new dress code for Site Fighters.)
They were carrying a large, black portfolio,
which I sent flying into the air when we collided.
Lying there on the floor, looking at each other, I apologized
asked them who they were and what their job at the Fights wuz.
They said they were Advertising Executives from
WDR and W Banners,Inc.
(Wheeler, Dealer, Readum and Weep).
The Fights have grown so big that Madison Avenue
wants to hop on the bandwagon for some of its clients
They were on their way up to Dman's office with Ad Proofs
of some possible campaigns and endorsement tie-ins
with The Site Fights for him to approve.
They had to hurry because Dman wuz going to squeeze them in
between the 3rd and 4th hole of his morning, miniature golf game.
The portfolio landed with a bang and opened, revealing the Ad proofs.
Thinking fast, I pointed down the hall and shouted
"Hey!...Isn't that your competition heading for the elevator?"
I am always prepared for any contingency so I whipped out my
Kodak Brownie Box camera while their heads were turned
and quickly snapped off the 3 shots you see below.
They turned back and hastily stuffed the Ads back into the portfolio.
I said, "Sorry, I thought I saw some guys who looked like you.
I see a lot of strange things ever since my fighting days.
Well I gotta run before the bell sounds for the next round.
Good luck with Dman! If you ever want to enter The Agency
in the Site Fights, let me know. I'm an ex-ContendA, you know."
I got up and ran back to D'Office to develop the pictures.
The gong sounded, signalling the start of the next work round.
HAVE A SAFE, ENJOYABLE HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!!
CONTENDA CONUNDRUMS
Congratulations!!!
Julie Pulliam
DTE Computer Systems Home Page
http://www.eden.com/~johnny
(Your Golden SuspendA Award is on the way).
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
[CONTEST #2 EXTENDED THRU THIS WEEK!]
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
(Apologies to those who submitted sites last week - time ran out!)
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DRose's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
and DMaestro's "The Knockout" and "The Quest"
brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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