from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
EXTRA!!!
BLINKETY BLANK- #@!?**&:!!!!
Announcing the Winner of the 1st
Be sure to read the rest of
The 3Ring Circuits! - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
8/24/97 - Look for a NEW? SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
SUPENDAMOBILE GOES ON THE BLINK
& MANUAL LABOR IS NOT AS TOUGH
AS TRYING TO SING FOR A LIVING
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
7/6/97
7/13/97
7/20/97
7/27/97
8/3/97
8/10/97
8/17/97
With the information highway clear of the litter once more
[Please see
8/17/97 "WHY IS UPS DOWN?..."]
we decided to experience the joy of the open road again.
Dressed & ready to go we buckled in our seats and
the kids began their well rehearsed Crank up routine -
[Please see
7/27/97 "CRANK UP THE SUPENDAMOBILE..."]
all that we heard from the car in response wuz a tired groan!
No matter how much cranking they did - the car wouldn't respond.
THE SUSPENDAMOBILE WUZ ON THE BLINK!
We were on the brink and needed to think about this new kink.
[I turned the thinking over to GlendA and the kids
because too much thinking hurts my head a lot].
SpencA remembered seeing what looked like a Manual
in the Manual holder located directly in front of me on the keyboard.
Sure enough I looked and he wuz right again!
[The kid is so smart! I never would have thought to look there].
He handed me the Manual and I opened it and began reading.
TROUBLE SHOOTING MANUAL
by
LEONARDO D'VINNY
Before beginning Manual Repair of Car follow these simple steps:
1. Remove Bouncing Ball located beneath Manual in Manual holder compartment.
2.Start Ball Bouncing on Manual and follow it as you begin singing.
"DCrank Case is connected to DKeyboard -
DMicrophone connected to DMonochrome -
DSpeakerphone connected to DSousaphone -
Now type DWords "All Aboard"
CHORUS: (Sing 3 times very loud)
It's Goin' .....
It's Goin' .....
It's tryin' to go!"
4. By now the Car should be up and running smoothly
and to stop you from singing, carrying you on your journey.
I followed the instructions, singing in my best falsetto -
GlendA and the Kids groaned in pain - along with the car -
which began lighting up and blinking and moved out
into the clatter and noise of the Highway,
which wuz so loud that it drowned out my singing -
I suppose as a defensive mechanism of it's own.
After cruising along for a short while, MalendA shouted out,
"DAAAD! Why is everyone staring at us as we pass them by?"
SpencA wuz quick to answer by saying calmly,
"MaaaalendA, you silly goose! Turn around and look in back-
They're not staring at us, strange as we might look -
but that neat looking old Hudson Automobile that's following us."
Sure enough, he wuz right again!...That boy is Uncanny!
Sunday, being a day off from the Site Fights, there wuz
John and Jimi from
"John and Jimi's Hudson Home"
http://members.aol.com/armysfcret/homepage1.html
out for a Cruise in their magnificent Classic Hudson Automobile.
We pulled in, alongside them and had a wonderful visit.
They're part of a group of classic Hudson owners,
members of the Hudson Essex Terraplane Club, Inc.
or the HotW - Hudson on the Web - as they like to call them.
They've got pictures and tidbits about these once giants of the highway.
When they told me that they even had a picture of the Green Hornet
I got really excited and asked if Cato wuz there also.
[Sorry, sometimes nostalgia creeps into this silliness].
For science fiction buffs there's even a pix of a Super Wasp.
Get into your tinny new jalopy and drive over to their place -
It's worth the trip to see these Beauties again in all their glory.
"Nightmares Keep BBS"
http://www.geocities.com/~nightmareskeep/
I almost didn't go to this place because of my previous nightmare problems.
[Please see
7/6/97 "NIGHTMARE ON WEB STREET PART 6,742......."]
but SpencA said he heard this wuz a good family fun site.
We set the SuspendAmobile's setting for Vancouver, Washington,
arrived quickly and came to a stop with a bump and a jerk.
[Editors note: Apologies, unfortunately, sometimes DSuspendA is self depricating]
We went into the "Jester's Den" where we were pleased to find
that the SuspendAmobile met all the criteria of the
10 Warning Signs that we're serious about computers.
Then we looked into another of the Keep's many choices,
"Tales of Stupidity and Ignorance to Laugh Away Your Time. "
[I've had plenty of those to tell in my illustious ring career].
This wuz a place where I learned something new about
Fax Security Sending and Automatic Car Door Locks.
After sampling more of the hilarious stuff here
we pushed the "Belly" button -
OOOPS "Burly" button and were happy we did.
At the "The Burl Ives Mascot Page" we got to sit on his boat,
chatting, swatting Blue Tailed Flies off a Cat on the Hot Tin Roof
and singing "Yoda cracked corn and I don't care..."with the 2 of them.
We were having such a good time that the time flew by.
We ordered four Headcheese sandwiches to go
and left singing merrily to ourselves.
Go! Run to this place!
Any site that has Tales of Stupidity is my kind of place!
SpencA is a big Game player on his computer and
suggested we seek a little action visit for our last stop today.
"Khameleon's Mortal Kombat Domain"
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Dungeon/6060
I am not a game player but I once fought a Khameleon.
He kept changing his appearance and I got so confused by it
that I knocked out the referee by mistake and wuz disqualified.
[This might make a good Tales of Stupidity entry}.
When we entered the Site the 1st thing we had to do wuz
fight our way through a crowded lineup of strange looking characters.
We felt like Indiana Jones entering the Temple of Doom.
The entire screen filled with multiple pillars of Skeleton's.
Standing in front of one of them wuz a great looking lady
holding two fans which she wuz waving at me at giving me a come-hither look.
I tweaked my moustache and sucked in my gut. GlendA glared!!!
[I wuz in awe of this woman because she had more fans than I do].
GlendA whacked me back to reality, knocking the silly grin off my face
and challenged me to play the game and choose my own way to die.
[I never knew she wuz a serious game player until this moment].
Sheepishly, I said, "Look, this Fan lady can't be all bad -
she adopted 2 D'Champs, didn't she?", and pointed to the 2 cute things.
One of them,named Scorp, wuz sleeping and I wuz warned not to wake it up.
I sidestepped gingerly on tip toes, carefully avoiding any noise when -
my ever unfaithful SuspendA pulled one of the skeletons loose.
It clattered down the pillar making a racket that woke Scorp
who wuz so Cranked up by this that the SuspendAmobile started up
and we were whisked away before I ever had to make that fateful decision.
If you're trained and ready to compete in
Mortal Kombat go here now. Just don't wake D'Champs.
CONTENDA CONUNDRUMS
Congratulations!!!
Julie Pulliam
DTE Computer Systems Home Page
http://www.eden.com/~johnny
(Your Golden SuspendA Award is on the way).
DSuspendA's my name and ContendA ConunDrum's my Game!!
If you're up to playing just click
DSuspendA for puzzling good time!
You might be stumped by DChump (oops!) DChamp!
Can anyone out there suggest some Sites for the SuspendA's to visit?
Does your Site qualify for receiving "THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA"?
Tell us the NAME of the Site; THE URL; and which Arena it's in.
We promise to write about you giving a snappy SuspendA review
(time permitting) which may or may not translate into more votes.
(Apologies to those who submitted sites last week - time ran out!)
Send your nominee to
DSuspendA, please.
DRose's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights
and DMaestro's "The Knockout" and "The Quest"
brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
There's lots to see and do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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