from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
"NIGHTMARE ON WEB STREET PART 6,742 RECALLED
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WORKING NINE TO FIVE - DAY ONE ENDS"
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
4/20/97
4/27/97
5/4/97
5/11/97
5/18/97
5/25/97
6/1/97
6/8/97
6/15/97
6/22/97
6/29/97
Back in my office after "OOOOHHING and AAAAHHHING"
at the dazzling display of pyrotechnics celebrating
Dmans victorious Miniature Golf comeback on July Fourth,
[Please see
6/22/97 "A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS....."]
I resolved that I must finish my final article of DAY 1
without anymore interruptions and get home to GlendA and the kids.
I had a whole lifetime of things to tell them about this one day.
I thought about how far I'd come since February when I first started
submitting stories to DRose
as a guest reporter for The Rumble Review.
One of the biggest changes wuz my being able to maintain control
over the terrible personal 'bouts' with "Psychominifightosis".
[The following exerpts first appeared in The Rumble Review]
- February 26, 1997- Special to the Rumble Review -
I have to apologize once again to loyal readers of the Rumble Review.
I planned on covering the rest of the Satellite Rings in todays ramblings
but I am so shaken up by recent events that I couldn't get to all of them.
Let me explain.
Since I began my association with the Site Fights, first as a ContendA
and now as a roving reporter, I have been experiencing a strange malady.
Everywhere I turn I see these cute, pastel colored, little munchkins boxing,
sparring and jumping rope.
I spoke to a friend of mine about this and he suggested
logging on to a new site called "Dr. Kronk's Site or
The 40 Minute Hour Interactive Chat Room".
The URL is hmmm://dotsinteresting.go.on
My friend said "You log in, lie down on your sofa
and type your story into the doctor. Questions are asked and
if you're quick enough with your keyboard, you get to answer
the question first, before any of the other people on line do".
He also said the only problems with the site are you're cut off
after 40 minutes of idle chatting and you're not really sure
which of the multiple answers relate to your particular problem.
Dr. Kronk's Site called the malady
'Psychominifightosis'
and said it must be extremely contagious because
(I don't think I'm breaking any Doctor/Patient confidence here)
The Chat Room has been flooded with people experiencing the same visions.
He prescribed a special PRESSURE SENSITIVE TABLET
(Sounded like some more of his
EMPTY TRASH TALK to me)
and said to chat again with him in the morning.
His bill would arrive in my morning E-Mail.
Feeling a lot better I decided to see
what was happening over at
Nick's Knockout Artists.
I turned my Satellite dish in his direction and logged in.
ARRRGGGHHH!!!.....
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.....
THE DOCTOR WAS WRONG!!!
THE TABLETS AREN'T WORKING!....
The little guys were here and they were boxing away.
I kept brushing them off my desktop but they kept coming back!
I tried boxing, sealing and wrapping them up and sending them
to a Dead E-Mail address. Nothing seemed to work. I was so shaken up
that I must have rattled that nice big round globular title of Nick's
and it began snowing inside the circle obscuring his title.....
That memory along with my head on collision a few moments ago with those
two Mummys who resembled the little guy wuz bringing back the old malady.
My hands were shaking as I tried to type and desperately
tried taking deep breaths and relaxing, ala Dr Kronk Site's instructions.
(I never could type and take deep breaths at the same time).
Unfortunately when I looked at the paper in the typewriter
I couldn't read a word. It looked like a coded message.
Not only wuz I seeing the little guys all over again
but now I'm typing my stories in a foreign language and
haven't got the slightest idea what I just typed.
UD TIY AIKCW RGUA OYLLW
TIY PEW P REYW JWTVIPES QULPES
PBS TIY'KK QUB A XICWRWS
"FIKSWB AYAOWBSP PQPES".
S'AYAOWBSP.
WHAT DID I TYPE?
Have I learned some strange foreign language?
Has my keyboard been taken over by demons?
Is this gibberish, much like most of my other typing?
HELP...AGAIN!!
Anyone out there an expert in Hunt and Peck Speedtyping?
I Hunted and Pecked on my desk for some sort of clue,
but all I could find to help you wuz a left over one (Hint,Hint!)
WIN THE GOLDEN SUSPENDA AWARD!
Correctly interpret the mystery missive for me if you can.
Send your answer to
DSuspendA, please.
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