from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
WORKING NINE TO FIVE
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4/20/97 - Look for a NEW SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
THE LONGEST DAY CONTINUES
"S'TATUE?"..."WHO WERE YOU EXPECTING.....RODIN?"
To read previous SuspendA'd Sentences click any of the dates below
3/9/97,
3/16/97,
3/20/97
3/23/97
3/30/97
4/6/97
4/13/97
[Reprinted from last week as an aromatic refresher]
I carefully walked back to my desk, holding my nose,
while trying to avoid the piles of droppings, now sparkling
with Fairy Dust and glimmering playfully in the torchlight.
A half step from the desk, I stubbed my toe on the dusty album
that had fallen off the shelf when I banged into it earlier,
causing me to fall headfirst into a steaming pile of horse doo!
I wuz covered with it...What an embarrassment!
I turned a bright
Horse Radish, reddish, Amber color.
Amber's Mustangs were rolling on
the floor,
hysterically neighing and horse laughing themselves silly.
(Well, at least I figured out how to entertain them).
Could I go out in the hallway and face my fellow workers
when the gong sounded the end of this round?
Is there anything here in the office I could use to clean myself off?
Could I somehow figure out how to disguise myself
and the pungent aroma surrounding my entire being?
Would my best friend tell my secret to the world?
What wuz the album that I tripped on and what does it contain?
The gong sounded ending Round 5...
Tune in next week to find the answers.
Old fourteenth century wives adage:
"There are people who sleep in horse manure and wake up smelling like roses!"
Just as I grabbed the door handle to step out into the hallway
for the break not quite knowing how I could face the crowd out there -
looking like a steaming compost heap and smelling the same way -
a gloriously cool shower of Rosewater came cascading down from above.
It seems that Dman had just hit one golf ball too many into the
Rose scented pond directly in front of Hole 12 (Par 27)
causing it to
overflow and come down through the ceiling.
(He missed
the entrance to the toll bridge spanning the pond by 3 feet).
It wuz truly a rainstorm from heaven.
I WUZ SOAKED, BUT CLEAN....
and smelling like an American Beauty Rose!
I closed the door behind me and ran down the hallway, out the backdoor,
and down the path that led to the Port-A-San's that were out back.
I needed to dry off before my suspendA shrank and choked me to death.
(The architects who designed the building sold Dman on a unique concept
a busy office building, 3 stories high, thirty five rooms - or arenas,
if you will - and an indoor miniature golf course with a pond).
Unfortunately someone forgot to design any restrooms in the plan.
I found an open stall, deposited a quarter in the slot and went in.
As I walked over to the sink I heard a strange 'Flap Flap' Flapping sound.
I stopped and the sound stopped. I took a step and it started again.
I stopped and the sound stopped. I took a step and it started again.
It didn't take me long to figure that there wuz a connection here somewhere.
I looked down and saw the culprit - an oversized piece of paper under my foot.
I lifted my foot and discovered it wuz stuck to the sole of the shoe.
Carefully, I removed it from a small wad of horse poop,
probably left over from my embarrassing slide across the floor of my office.
I turned it over and jumped up and down for joy at my marvelous find.
(It's amazing to me how lucky I've been since starting this job!)
One of those Madison Avenue Ad types who were playing a round
of Miniature Golf upstairs with Dman in his office, presenting
possible ad tie-in campaigns with the Site Fights, must have dropped it.
So here it is, Folks...another SuspendA EXCLUSIVE!!!!!
You heard and saw it here first.
Straight from the horse's mouth....errr
Straight from the horse's behi.......errrr...
Straight from the very sole of your humble servant!!!
A SCOOP FROM THE POOP!
Figurines © Copyright 1997 ETT, Inc. Licensee Cuties Corporation
Looking at this ad sample brought back the memories of my time
as a ContendA in the Site Fights competition. I remember standing
in the middle of the ring in the Warzone, immobile as a statue while
Lady Char (One of our fair Noble Champions) of Knights of the Ring
plastered me - put me on a pedastal - painted me into a corner
- placed me lying down in a prone position, eyes closed, smiling
while the referee counted to ten as I became stiff as a board.
The buzzer sounded, signalling the end of the two minute break
so I folded the ad thinking that I'd read the rest of it another time.
I flushed with success at my continued good fortune in finding story content.
I suppose the old fourteenth century wives adage has some validity after all.
WELCOME TO "Grapholina's Gladiators"
Check out and vote for her ContendAs in the Arenas and Colosseum -
just bring something for the lions to munch on, other than you.
DRose's Rumble Review for The lighter side of the Site Fights.
DMaestro's The Knockout brings the many sides of
the Site Fights and it's fighters to lite!
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings also.
I hope you enjoy yourselves as much as I do.
Please mail your feedback to DSuspendA at
"SuspendA'd Sentences"
and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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