from
The ContendA who wears one red SuspendA
WORKING NINE TO FIVE - DAY ONE
The entire SuspendA household rose early and was actively preparing me for my first day on "the job".
My clothes were neatly laid out on the bed, pinned together so everything would match and I dressed quickly.
Late last night I had finished shining up my 1931 Classic Underwood typewriter
and set it next to a folding stack table and chair near the door.
GlendA had already packed my "Rocky" lunch box with my favorite - Peanut butter and Spam sandwiches, a Macintosh Apple (Hey Mr. Amelio do I get anything for the plug?) and a paper with my name and address on it in case I got lost. I tapped Bullwinkle's picture once for good luck,picked it up,
I entered the front door, passing by a long line of eager new ContendA hopefuls, which extended all the way around the block. I counted 35 "Simpson sites from Homer and Company to O.J. - aliens from Star Wars, Star Trek, Star Search to "The Plan 9 From Outer Space Galactic Fanzine Club" - Family groups showing off pictures of their chidren, pets, home, etc. to any and all passerbys - Clowns with Red Noses (Them I liked) telling jokes and continually getting in and out of small cars that were idling in the line - couch potatoes - gamers, zapping people in front of them while weaving and bobbing through the line, scoring points along the way.......
The fights were growing and now I wuz going to be part of it.
I made my way to the front desk and wuz told to strip to D'waist and weigh in. I tried to explain that I wuz not a new ContendA but an old ContendA who wuz a new, news staff writer, new to the job. She said she wuz sorry she didn't know. No one gave her a new list of new people.
She spoke to someone on the phone, hung up, turned to me and said "Mr. SuspendA, your office is ready. It's just down the hall....third door on the left. You can't miss it. Welcome to the Site Fights."
Locating the door and opening it, I made a mental note to have them take Mr. Brooms name off the door and have mine put up. I entered and looked around. On the left wall there were floor to ceiling shelves, crammed with Spirit wands, which sprinkled fairy dust all over the room each time the door wuz opened and closed. One of my first tasks wuz to sweep it all under the rug on the floor. This raised the floor about three feet and I had to bend over if I stood.
The shelves lining the back wall were overflowing with material from the Satellite Rings. Some of it glowed radiantly (Obviously from Lukes Radioactive Rumble), some hopped up and down (Probably from Wombat's Warriors), other boxes waved and cheered when you opened them shouting "Nick! Nick! Nick!" and there were DC's on every shelf , boxing, hugging waving .....
I wuz getting that sick feeling again. (Reminded myself to log in to Dr. Kronk's Site when I get home). I took a deep breath and continued my inspection.
The right hand side looked like the best place for me to setup once I moved the brooms and stacks of old music tapes that were stored there. I set up the folding table, chair and my typewriter and looked around the room, pleased with my choice. (The room wuz so small that I'd have to go outside if I changed my mind.)
I wuz set to go. I closed the door, ready to begin. Bam!!!! The room wuz pitch black. Then it hit me! There wuz no light in here, just the intermitten radiant glow from the shelves enhanced by reflections off tiny pieces of sparkle dust.
Before I go I want to thank Dman for allowing me to poke fun at the Site Fights - We hope you enjoy our ramblings. Please Bookmark us.
3/9/97 Look for a NEW SuspendA'd Sentences every Sunday
along with the typewriter, table and chair and headed out the door.
I wuz on my way to D'office.
Arriving downtown, I gazed across the street at DHome Dome Building, taking in its architectural beauty. It was shaped like a giant hamburger. It made me hungry just looking at it. The underside looked like a dome, lying belly up. The middle was actually a giant ring, roped all around and covered with canvas. Resting on the ring corner posts was another dome, which I later discovered was where Dman's executive office and miniature golf course was located. Topping it all off was a giant neon Site Fights banner which blinked on and off and could be seen from miles away.
It wuz awesome.
it wuz endless.
Maybe I could learn touch typing.
and to DRose for her warm guidance and kindness in getting me here.
Cruise the rest of the Site Fights rings. I hope you enjoy yourselves as much as I do.
Place your feedback in our Can Mail and come back often.
After touring the Site Fights action
head on over to
Empty Trash Talk.
We'll give you your own private tour of the cans.
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