Who's Dman - Issue 20: D'Cathalon

D'Spam Slam

After our First Defeat I was kinda concerned. Odette did give it her all, but we both seemed to fall short. The second event was gonna be tough. D'Spam Slam. I didn't know what to expect. I thought I was gonna get hit with some D'Spam in a food fight or something. Dreferee approached us and was going to let us know how this next contest was going to go. But First, we got to review how the first contest ended.

D'Hi Jump: The Score

• Dman: 1st Place, 3 points
• Duncle: 2nd place, 2 points
• Nick: 3rd place, 1 point
• Odette 4th place, 0 points

So the score so far was Dman in Nick in the lead with 4 points, and Duncle and Odette in second with 2 points. If this kept going, we were gonna have some real trouble. I think we were in luck though. Both Dman and Nick cringed when D'referee brought the cans of D'Spam over. Nick turned green I think.

A massive outdoor kitchen was set up. We had the use of all the facilities. All of us had the same cooking utensiles and ingredients. a curtian was drawn inbetween each of us so we couldn't see what the others were doing. I could hear laughter coming from the crowd. I had to assume Dman was doing something. I was on the end. Dman was next to me, Odette was in the middle on Dman and Nick. the crowd was in front of us. D'TV cameras were bringing the coverage live to D'world. This was going to be really tense. I didn't do too good in my Home Ec. class, and that was a LONG time ago. D'referee fired D'gun signaling us to start. 30 Minutes

I pulled the cloth off the table in front of me. All the ingredients that I was allowed to use. Spices, extracts, powders, liquids. I also had a stove, a microwave, and several pots and pans. I was SOOOOO confused at this point. I didn't have my D'can opener. How was I gonna make the time limit. I saw the clock and only had 25 minutes left. I didn't know what to do.

My fingers fumbled along the can. Then I saw D'key that opened the can. AH~HA. I saw some strange smoke coming from Dman's area. Didn't want to know what that was. I heard some banging from Nick's area. I KNEW what that was. I removed the key and got it in place. I began to turn it slowly not knowing what to expect once I got inside this can. I'd heard stories.

I heard a LOUD BANG from Dman's area. I think he'd gotten his can open. I only had 20 minutes left. How did these cooking shows do it. Hmmmmm. This wasn't gonna be easy. I emptied the contents of the can into one of the pans. The strange jelly had to be removed. I filled the pan with water and boiled it off. Now I had a boiled D'Spam and 10 minutes left. I began to heat a pan and cut the D'spam into slices. I poured some liquid into the pan as well as some of the powders I had there. I noticed that there was a fridge behind me. Hmmmm, where did that come from?? Inside I found a terriffic assortment of veggies. I put these in the pan as well. I was begining to feel proud. I could hear Nick on the ground wrestling with something. Don't think he'd found the key yet. With five minutes left, I dumped the content from the pan onto the plate. I tried to hide the fact that the bottom was black and the top was raw. I guess that's what those flat things with handles were for. I heard Nick scream. the black cloud seemed to be disappating.

D'referee sounded D'gun again. it was time. The curtians came down and out came Djudges. They started with Nick. He'd placed a smashed can on a plate. He didn't receive very high scores. Next was myself. I was so proud. One of the judges poked my concouction with his pen. Another flipped over the D'spam and frowned at me. I could only hope that Odette did better. They got to Dman. Not sure what he'd done with his, but one of the judges actually tried what he'd cooked. A second just cut a piece off and look at it on the end of his fork. They made it all the way down to odette. She had a beautiful dish. She'd made D'spam Shishkabob with Spirit Sticks. The judges went wild. Good thing Odette kept here finger clear of the judges mouths. The Scores were quickly posted.

• Odette: 1st Place, 3 points
• Dman: 2nd place, 2 points
• Duncle: 3rd place, 1 point
• Nick 4th place, 0 points

We'd done well, I waited to see what the scores even out to and this is what we were at.

Dman and Nick == 6 points
Duncle and Odette == 6 points A TIE.

Don't forget to check out the 3rd event D'mail Delivery.

Please check out Odette's Coloumn next week to find out all about this contest and how it went. (editor's note: Sadly, I cannot find Odette's Column as it too, stopped coming out just like Who's Dman :-/ -- Duncan)

In the next issue, DUncle reflects on his Site Fights experience..

Click here for an index of the archive, or go on to issue twenty-one.

Who's Dman is brought to you by DUncle from Button Central And The Site Fights.

(This page written sometime in 1998 by DUncle. Layout updated January 2001, by Duncan. Enjoy!)