Who's Dman - Issue 18D: Farewell to DSuspendA

(editor's note: Since I found this article after already converting the old articles, I stuck it in before D'Cathalon. This article was never actually part of Issue 18 -- Duncan)

Twas a sad day around the Site Fights. Dcafe was quiet. The bell that sounded the breaks between rounds had been silenced for today. There was an unusual hush about the place. Fairy dust drifted by my feet as I stood looking around the place. Dman and Nick came down the Street. They stood before me. "You nkow we've got to do something for him." Dman said. "But of course. I'll take care of it" I replied back. This will be a terrific dedication. Everyone will have to be gathered for this. Dman and Nick wandered off. Both Silent.

My palms were wet. Why did I always volounteer for things like this. I get so nervous. DsuspendA was alway so great at this sort of thing. He just dove in with both feet. He never faltered. This was gonna be a tough task. I didn't even have Dspot with me to give me some support.

I walked out from behind the curtian. EVERYONE was here. Dman, Nick, Dwombat, Dspirit, Lady Char, and the list went on. Dfamily in it entirity was present to bid farewell. DsuspendA had decided to retire. This was to be our farewell to him. Those who would be speaking were up on the stage. DsuspendA, GlendA, spencA and the rest of the clan were also up on the stage.

Dspotlight (not associated with Dspot) shone upon my. I donned Dsunglasses and the music began. Though I didn't know how to get jiggy wit it. I walked up to the podium, placed my speech in front of me. I couldn't read it. I had to do this one from the hip.

"Dsuspenda has been part of the Site Fights since long before The Site Fights were a cool place to hang out. He got beat up in the WarZone by Lady Char way back when. He tripped upon his SuspendA and has kept Dman in stiches ever since. He had many slips and falls during his Longest Day, and it continued through out his time spent with Dfamily. His first SuspendA Sentences was terriffic. But as time went on, he only got better. I don't think one member of Dfamily went by without getting goofed on by DsuspendA. From Dman with his minitaure golf, to Dfairy and Dspirit with their fairy dust. DsuspendA got us all. "

He made Dcafe his home. Why you may ask. Because Dcafe was going to be a place for games. DsuspendA gave out many of his famous and highly sought after Golden suspendAs. His puzzles were very intregiuing and left many of us stumped. I'm still tring to figure out half of them."

I think that most of us will miss the laughs he gave us with every coloumn he wrote. Dfamily and DcontendAs alike stopped by and read his articles. I thought so highly of his work, I wanted to try my own hand at writing about the Site Fights. That's why I'd started Who's Dman. When Dman had suggested that we team up for a project, I was stunned. I didn't think I would have what it takes to keep up with a writer of his talent. But things went terriffic. We came very close to beating Dman and Nick in Dforesome."

"I will now turn the podieum over to the folks so they can say a few words"

Dspirit: Dsuspenda, where you going? I'm sure gonna miss your column. Hope your adventures are always grand. =) Let us hear from you now & then. May The Spirit Of Love And Friendship Fill Your Every Day!

Odette: You're a great guy Dsuspenda, so funny and wacky, your column is so cute!! Now that you're leaving, we're really gonna miss you, don't get caught in your red suspendas too much, take care and eat your dinner every night *sob* *HUGGZ*"

Lady Char: DSuspendA and I started with the Site Fights the same week (Jan 97). We met up in the Warzone and he's kept me in stitches every since. He made competing even more fun as he made light of matches and always wrote humorous articles. I quickly became his #1 fan.

He's one funny guy and I will miss his articles tremendously! I wish him nothing but the best in his new endeavors. Hopefully he will find his other suspenda somewhere along the way!!

DSuspendA, love ya guy! *hugs*

Dwombat: Well I first came across a Site called Empty Trash Talk and I was rather impressed with the way they looked at all things computer and so I signed their guestbook, they in turn came and visited my webpage and signed my guestbook and we exchanged a few friendly emails.

A few months later when I joined the Sitefights as a fighter I went and sent an "SOS your help is needed" mail to all the people who had signed my guestbook... I got a reply back from Lewis of Empty Trashtalk and he became one of my staunchest supporters, then all of a sudden he got the bug, everywhere you went around the SiteFights Pages, Lewas had been there, signing all DFamily Guestbooks, posting cheers even though he wasn't a fighters and eventually he did don his one red suspenda and got into the ring. his daily vote reminders were just something else and I don't think there was any member of DFamily who didn't get one...

I don't think there was so much laughter areound the fights as there was when we all read Lewis updates every day and it would be save to say everyone on his list was looking for the next installment from him every time they opened their mail.

This all impressed DMan so much that he decided "We just have to have more of this for everyone to read" and so "DSuspenda's Sentences" became a reality and at the same time I became leader of the Wombats.

Hey Buddy, I'm goning to realy realy miss you we had a lot of fun together as newbies at the fights didn't we!!!! *Hugs*

"If I can now turn you attention to the screen, Dman had prepared a special card for DsuspendA." A large screen dropped down from the celing. Good thing it missed everyone. Nick was up in a flash getting it all back up and working. Once he was back in his seat, the light dimmed and Dman's note to DsuspendA was displayed

Thank you so much for the smiles....and fun..... I'll miss your crazy writings and ....forever be a fan..... Dmna

DsuspendA actually fell out of his chair when he read it. Dfamily filled the room with laughter. Everyone began to throw fairy dust and spirit sticks at DsuspendA. DsuspendA stood up and waved to the crowd. He began to make his way towards the podieum. Alas, his suspendA got in the way, one foot got caught up. He hopped along on one foot and tried to make it towards the podieum. He started to dart sideways and finally, fell off the stage. Many faries were there to fly with him. They flew over the crowd with him and showed him off around the room. Dfairy gave him a good coating of fairy dust. The faries let him go and he began to float around the room. he went up towards the celing. At this point he'd gotten his foot dislodged from his suspendA, only to fly too close to the celing fan.

With DsuspendA spinning around the celing fan, the faries were too afraid to go near him. THey feared getting hit by his spinning body. Nick was called into action once again. He went over and turned the switch to the fan off. Once the fan stopped, the blade snapped and DsuspendA was once again, headed for the floor. Amazingly, the John Phillips Suza Kazoopalooza showed up. They rushed under DsuspendA to stop his fall with their bodies. Once again, DsuspendA was kept well. After getting him back to the stage, all he wanted to do was sit.

Dman had one last surprise left for DsuspendA. It's a little know fact, but DsuspendA is the only member of Dfamily without a Site Fights e-mail account. Now DsuspendA would forever be imortalized as one of Dfamily. He can now be reached by sending your mail to

So be sure to get your farewell wishes off to him and break in this new e-mail account.

You can also sign DsuspendA's farewell book to say good bye. And of course, Thanks for the memories... We're gonna miss you.....

In the next issue, D'Cathalon begins!

Click here for an index of the archive, or go on to issue nineteen.

Who's Dman is brought to you by DUncle from Button Central And The Site Fights.

(This page written sometime in 1998 by DUncle. Layout updated January 2001, by Duncan. Enjoy!)